Thursday, 02.28.2013 - 7:33 pm.
It's liberating to remember this day as the day I hopped on a plane to go study abroad in South America (and, I'd find out, much more than that) in 2011, more than as Joseph's birthday. I have been a little sad about the latter, actually, though sad may not be the word.
I got that off my chest by writing briefly and criptically about it on my public blog. I have been coming to terms with the entire Joseph story, for one reason: I've been working on it as a literary text, you may be aware of that. And while at some point looking closely at every painful detail did help, that help has run its course. I realized I became too fixated on the details, and I can't tell a story with them. I mean, I could. I already did (it sucked, paraphrasing the two people who read it, whose literary knowledge I trust). Recently I found a piece called "your break-up is boring", about break-up memoirs.
The details expose the torture that Joseph was to me as well as my own madness and denial at the time, but that's it. It gets tiring reading it over and over again, doesn't it? It makes sense to me and my slight trauma that drives me to talk about it after all this time. But I suppose the rest of the people can do without it.
"So let go". I have let it go in real life as much as I've been able to (and I'm proud of it, it was much more than I expected). I wrote about it as part of the process and I guess now I just have to not write about it anymore. Let go of the details, I tell myself, and I'm coming to terms with that. The details stay in this diary, as it's my autobiography written in real time. As for a story, I'm sticking to an earilier and much shorter and fictional version of it that still does the trick. And with that, I've decided I shall publish my next book soon. I don't know how soon but I found this ebook thing that's awesome.
Moving on! So two years ago today I left my home country to come to Chile. What a glorious day, even if it meant saying goodbye to my family and spending the day between planes and airports. Tomorrow, the day I arrived to Chile. The following day, the day I arrived to this pretty little town. And the following day, the day I met Andrew.
Last night I was telling Andrew how he was the best person I could have ever run into. He's the best person that has happened to me. He says the same about me and we all throw confetti.
But tomorrow I become a tourist. My student visa expires today. My Chilean ID expires tomorrow. I'm scared though I try to be patient and take it easy. I was going to apply for a job but how was I gonna send the expired ID and a diploma not yet legal in this country to a government institution? I sent the envelope containing my residence application a month ago. I was told it takes them a month and a half to just open the envelopes. Andrew says everything will turn out ok and I think so too, but I'm still a little worried. I have to be patient and not freak out.