Toothaches, happy details, and my favorite person's birthday
Saturday, Jun. 09, 2018 - 10:48 pm.

I've had a toothache for two weeks. No, teeth aches, and just last night I saw what is going on by taking a picture of the insides of my mouth with my phone. NO WONDER. No wonder the random taste of blood in my mouth, which has been happening for years. No wonder the pain and the ever-present sensibility in both my upper and my lower back teeth. The worst part is that I've seen dentists in three countries and no one has solved my problem. Is it the teeth, is it the dislocated jaw?

Now there's a back tooth that is out of control at the back of my mouth, and it looks dangerous, and Monday can't come soon enough for me to get a dentist appointment ASAP. I have check-ups every six months here, my dentist says it's all good, no cavities, I'm doing OK. I'm not! That dangerous thing (a huge cavity?) did not appear overnight, and my teeth keep moving, sometimes giving me a headache in the process. I'm in pain. It's painful and frustrating. 

Anyway! I did have great things coming my way this week. Tiny things, like learning how to better take care of my curls (thanks to Andrew and his reliance on YouTube tutorials), and getting lipgloss and make-up tips from my friend and PhD colleague Stan, and artisanal chocolate from my friend Eric.

Also: I saw two couples of queer women on the street, one on Monday, one on Friday; I caught a bus smoothly (oh, you just had to be there!); the Colombian PhD student I have a crush on showed up and we talked and I came out to her because what the hell, aaaand *drum roll*...


They just wrote to say that they received it and they'd pass it on to the reading department for consideration but MAN, finally something! Everyday I feel like crap due to all my writing that is not being published, and my published writing that is so actively ignored by everyone.

Look, maybe the next thing I'll hear from the publishing house will be a rejection, but so it goes. I really appreciated being informed that they got it and that they were considering it. Please, give it a chance, it's a good story! Simeon and the gang are good kids! 

Speaking of writing and publishing, I've started a side project on bisexuality, a modest survey. I was going to work with Eric on this one, but I sent him my proposal and when we met he hadn't read it, and instead had three ideas of his own. Which were very good, much more polished than mine, but it was obvious he didn't *listen* to me.

He kept suggesting qualitative questions to my obviously quantitative approach, and then, when he was talking about his own ideas, he was patting himself on the back because most studies on bisexuality are qualitative and his was going to be quantitative. Jesus Christ, man!

Looking back on our meeting later, I realized I don't want to work with him. I was going to write him, but I think it's best that we talk face to face. Wish me luck because I'm the worst at being assertive. 

On non-conflictive news: Andrew's birthday is this Friday! I got him some funny shoes with visible toes, or rather, he chose them, I just paid for them. I think those shoes are really weird, but he'd wanted them for so long, and he was so happy when I told him that would be my gift for him. Then I got him a card for the actual day, and I'm figuring out where we could go to celebrate, i.e. to eat. He says having hot dogs -the Chilean kind- at home would be great. 

I'm really trying to put into words, to write on the card, how life-changing it has been to have Andrew in my life. He's opened the door for me to step into the world in many ways, from actually traveling the world to coming out of the closet and being my most authentic self. He is always there supporting me, rooting for me, comforting me, taking care of me. My marriage to him has brought me joy and freedom, I'm forever in love with him and the sex is hot. I'm the luckiest gal for having him with me. 

Well, that's a place to start with the card, I suppose...though it's all about me. Trust me, though, he's a wonderful human being.  

Also, June 14th will be my first anniversary of meeting Steven Tyler and Joe Perry(!!!)...which was just 10 seconds of me making a fool out of myself (I have the photo to prove it), but at least I got that out of the way. My entire bucket list was having Steven Tyler in front of me. And he did call me "sexy beast".

This is it for today. Status: Still waiting a response for the submission of my manuscript*, my paper with Brother #3, my pitch to an outlet, my stories for the University literary magazine. Still trying to put together that study on bisexuality before someone else does. I'm waiting for some stickers of my Simeon comic strip(!) to decide if I continue with the online store, and I'm waiting for a pair of shoes that were on sale. I wait a lot, it seems, and in that tedious process I remain in the shadows while the world keeps turning. Thus I get desperate.

*This story has everything, from the likelihood of volcanic eruptions to hints of sexual abuse. I get desperate when I see one of the topics it addresses on the news. If it takes any longer to be published, people will think I just grabbed headlines, but I've been working on this for years based mostly on contents in my head. Hell, this week I was wondering if something I wrote in that story was exaggerated, "nobody thinks that way", I said, and then I had a brief (and thankfully harmless) encounter with the Human Flaming Bag of Dog Poo, and he said the same damn thing! I'm just good, man. Publish me, dammit.    

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