Saturday, Sept. 05, 2020 - 3:44 pm.
No progress this week with my book. Andrew's friend remains locked out of her PayPal account so she can't draw the money to pay the publisher. When I start getting restless about this:
(1) I think, you know, I should make some more changes while I still have the manuscript. Then I start procrastinating and thus I feel relieved I don't have to submit it yet.
(2) I realize that no one cares, there's no one out there waiting for the book to come out. I'm in a rush, but objectively, there is no rush.
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I got some huge news this week, which in the end was not surprising at all but still cool as fuck. September is Bisexual Visibility Month, and on the first day of this month, Andrew, well, came out to me. We were having a coffee break at our dining table, taking a break from work, and he said, quoting a character from a TV show, that he's bothsexual. He'd been doing some soul searching for a while and yeah, he is.
On one hand, I could fill endless paragraphs with "ahgajhsgdjhagsd" over how ecstatic I am with this revelation. I couldn't say much to him in that moment, I just told him I was very happy for him, and my eyes filled up with tears, I was beside myself.
On the other hand: colour me surprised. I've always thought, and I told him, that he's too good to be a straight man.
He told our friend Eric after he told me. And I think he'll tell other friends, and that's about it. He's a man of few words so he didn't need to discuss anything with me. But maybe we could order a cake. A local bakery sells this cake of a unicorn with a pink, purple and blue palette. It's the same design that was used for my niece's birthday last year, in which I felt like I was attending my own coming out party.
So there you go, if life wasn't good enough for me already, it turns out I'm married to a bi man. Right after his coming out, our puns doubled(!). We're effectively a bisexual marriage. Blessed be, Lord.
Other than that, we've been busy as usual. Last September 2nd was our first anniversary of leaving the UK and the next day the anniversary of arriving back to Chile. This also mixes up with the passing of my friend Anna's daughter on the 1st, so there was profound sadness all around. I had my heart breaking quietly as I went through these days.
Andrew asks me if we'll ever stop missing Sheffield, and as much as that hurts, I hope not. Maybe we'll stop crying after seeing pictures or updates from the friends we made there. Hey, maybe we'll go back one day, even if it's just to visit.
Still. We made it. We're here. He and I got very lucky and while we're still struggling a bit, we have enough stability to get through the day, the week, the month, even the year. Spring is coming and we have longer sunsets slipping through the tress and into our apartment from the balcony. Our building is across the street from a gas station, but a block away from it there's indigenous property with lots of tall trees that we can see from our dining table. That's good enough. It's more than enough.
_
For a while now, Saturday nights are Game Night for Andrew and, as he called them, Gay Night for me. While he nerds out, I have a date with my girlfriend. She and I had a very good week, by the way. I was able to focus on her, more than the past few weeks, and I think we're reaching a very stable point in our relationship.
One of these days she sent me some racy voicenotes and I kept playing them but no sound was coming out from my phone. Then Andrew called my name and I went "oh, shit". We have bluetooth speaker that is connected to both our phones. He had it on to listen to music while he did the dishes, but the speaker responds to my phone even when his is playing.
I rushed out of my room to the kitchen, where he was. He was all freaked out by this female voice that appartently started talking to him. I apologized to him laughing out loud (I was more entertained than embarrassed), I told him this was my girlfriend. "Were they dirty messages?", I asked him with a smirk, but he was still shaken up and said he didn't understand anything.
He didn't mind about this episode, other than getting scared the shit out of him. I told him my girlfriend has a nice voice but he repeated he couldn't register anything. Then I felt disappointed because, I realized, I wanted to flaunt my girlfriend's silky voice.
Lastly, I went to the supermarket a while ago. I wasn't thrilled, but other than the long lines at the cash registers, it wasn't so bad. Nevertheless, if you excuse my privilege, I remain content in my apartment not having to deal with people outside.