Saturday, Feb. 19, 2022 - 10:20 am.
I don't have much to report about this week, but that's a good thing. It's week 3 of the summer break and I've spent it relaxing and...ok, working, but it doesn't feel like work! I'm writing a paper based on my undergrad students' thesis about coming out. I've had to update everything and change the focus, and time flies when you're learning about sexual orientation disclosure.
We returned our friend's car last Sunday evening. We were sorry to part with it, it did bring us freedom. Now we're back to our old ways of being too lazy to go out, but that's also OK. Andrew and I are quite good at leading a domestic life, and it keeps up safe from the still-there risk of contagion. It's been relaxing and I've had time to work on my comic and on the aforementioned paper.
Other people in my life are fine. My family's doing OK, as far as I know. I've been catching up with a couple of friends, as I'm horrible at keeping in touch. I do miss socializing but my list of people I can call is very limited, and it is even more limited because my long-time friends are all in different continents and I don't want zoom calls, I want a face-to-face kiki. To which I reply to myself: "Tough luck, buddy".
Things are also a bit tense with Helen, or at least they are in my head regarding her. To put it bluntly: she's in love with me, I'm not with her. I love her, I care about her and I enjoy talking to her, but the discrepancy overwhelms me at times.
This week I had to be honest and I told her that the whole long-distance multi-partner thing wore me the fuck out. She understood. The following I did not tell her: It's been an exhausting relationship, and I found that out very early into it. I tried to endure as much as I could because hey, I got myself into this and her heart was in my hands.
I've had a crush on her and she's great, she's been an angel to me and we have fun together, but at this point I can only offer a friendship with a side of benefits. Which is not a downgrade. I'm a fantastic friend with benefits and I take this role seriously.